Monday, March 05, 2007

Lies

~Ooc: Literature
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Mirror
By: ~deadlypoison695

Mirror, Mirror,
lie to me
and show me what
I want to see,
a world untouched,
un-harmed by love,
a world not cursed,
that soars above,
a world of warmth,
not cold as ice,
a world where hearts break once,
not twice.

Mirror, Mirror,
lie to me
and show me what
I wish to see,
a moonlit night,
not pouring rain,
tears cried for joy,
not cried for pain,
a peaceful life,
a brand-new slate,
a world where love
can't turn to hate.

Mirror, Mirror,
lie to me
and show me what
I hope to see,
a world where pain
cannot occur,
where tears don't make
my vision blur,
where happiness
can't drag me down,
and love won't try
to make me drown.

Mirror, Mirror,
lie to me
and show me what
I pray to see,
a place where I
won't need to feel,
where time and life
are not so real,
a place where I
don't need to think,
where into death
I'll never sink.

Mirror, Mirror,
lie to me
and show me what
I know can't be,
a world where death
is not a choice,
a place where I
can't hear her voice,
a world where cuts
don't bleed or scar,
where I can watch
life from afar,
a world where I
can hide away,
to die again
another day.

Now Mirror, Mirror,
lie to me
and show me what
I need to see
reflect a world
unlike my own
where what is real
is never known.

From me, To you.

~Ooc: Literature
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Of Love
by ~Neko-Priestess

You have no idea how much I love you
It isn't a lie, only pure and true
It hurts when you forget me
I wish you could see
It hurts when you talk about your love for another
I only wish that I, not him, was your lover
I want to be with you, but you don't wish the same.
You don't need to worry because I'm not playing a game
When you are gone, I hurt.
If only you were mine to court.
When you are here it still hurts, because you are not mine
Even though I act on the outside that I'm fine
I wish I could hold you in my arms
And tell you of all of your charms
But I know that right is for another
and sadly, again, I'm not that lover
For the another you love
And he, I wish you wouldn't speak of
You have no idea how much I love you
And I swear it is only pure and true
I can't bear to tell you though
as it would be a low blow
If I did I believe it would ruin our friendship
If only I could both cry and get a grip
and I'd rather have you as a friend then nothing at all
And by you I shall, for you, stand still and tall.

Edmond Dantès Prisoner Number

:: Entry #34 - I know you didn't mean it ::
~Ooc: Headlines
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Mood: My head is throbbing
Music: This photograph is proof (I know you know), by: Taking Back Sunday
----------------------------------------------

Ok.

I'm chillin, don't worry. We just lost in Lyceum's PSITE quiz bee & programming competition partly because of my current state of mind, and I'm planning to regain my natural self in about a week or so. I hope. Anyways, I'm really unfocused right now. I don't want play Magic™ so, dont push. I'd really like to just study programming, and I'm kindof having thoughts about adopting LCA. Both the incoming 3rd year & the incoming 4th year did not accept the offices of the organization, leaving the incoming 2nd year (the current 1st year) as the heirs of the graduating officers. *sigh*

I hate my life right now. I guess I'll have to elaborate... =__=

We had our biggest row with my bestfriend just a few weeks ago. Here's the gist of it, and my point of view of why I did what I did. Comments would be really helpful. So. Grace and her mom had a big fight. I know, this happens at least once a week, but this time, it's a bit bigger. Her mom's jewellry were stolen, and Grace became the only suspect because.. well there's only two of them at the house. I know, her mom's a bit wrong there, but let me continue. A fight ensued, and ended up with grace's mom casting grace out of the house. 'Kung maglalayas ka, dapat before 10 [in the morning] wala ka na dito' said her mom. That's how she told me anyways. So, because of that, Grace left her home. No big deal, that happened quite a bit times already. Except that for the last year, whenever this happens she goes directly to her cuzin's place and cool off there. This time, she went to a classmate's house, telling me that her cuzin's won't help her this time (Since her mom branded her as a thief or something).

There, that's the backstory. Now, this is what happened afterwards. When Grace left her house, she asked Edwin (Of all people) to come see her. She also notified me, but I didn't have the funds to go to Binan, so she began spewing thorns at me through text messages. Some of those messages really hurt, so I went a bit ballistic and got quite angry. Meanwhile, her and Edwin (Who was in love with Grace since High School) assembled a few plans about where Grace should stay and where she can work for a while. Edwin cannot refuse her because of his 'Love' (I think. I hope.), even if what they're doing is obviously very wrong. After the day is over, Edwin phoned me at home, told me her story. I told him that what he did was one big mistake. Grace and her mom MUST make up. She should move out of her classmate's place and go back to her house, because what she's doing is really wrong. Her mom was wrong, but what she did was also wrong. And so, we planned a few contigencies to be enacted after a couple of days.

The day of the plans dawned. It was a wednesday, and I attended my Electromagnetics class and skipped all the rest. Edwin and I stopped by his house afterlunch and played for a few hours (with his XBOX360) before setting off to festival mall. Where were supposed to meet with Grace. I went well It think, considering I didn't say more than a few sarcastic words, but in the end her cousins supported her and took her in. We got her things from her classmates and took her to her cousins. At least the "Worst Case Scenario" didn't happen. (The WCS is a catch all reset button that I usualy devise as a last resort contingency. This time, my WCS is to get her mom from her work and lead her directly to where Grace is staying. That would lead to a big fight and I would be in the middle of everything.)

The next day. D-Day. I tried to explain to grace my situation, and why I can't support her decision. I told her that what she's doing is wrong, and being her bestfrind meant that I should make her realize that. I mean, where on Earth is arguing with your mom and going off to a classmates house for a few days the right thing to do? I'm sure there are other ways to prove your point. In a way, I know what Grace's mom is feeling... Anyways, back to the story: I told Grace that I'm texting her mom about her situation. Grace misunderstood. I also told her that she shouldn't rely on Edwin too much. Again, she misunderstood. Grace thought that I was telling her mom her whereabouts and that she's using Edwin (which is, in a way, true). She was really mad. She even told me that she gave her sim to this 'Kyla Lim' so that I won't be able to text or call her. Anyways, I spent a few days trying to contact her, trying to talk to her about her decisions, until she finally decided to listen.

Here's the gist of what I said. I think I'm right this time around. Oh, and I didn't write the part where I'm profusely apologizing about things. >_<

'Your mom was wrong, but what you did is also wrong. I know you're only waiting for your mom to apologize. But why won't you put yourself in your mom's shoes? I personally know how hard it is to maintain a household. Most especially when you're the breadwinner and no one else is helping you. You have all of us, your friends and your cousins to back you up when you're down and need help, but what about your mom? She's all alone, since her daughter left her. Why won't you understand?"

Anyways, we're kindof good right now. Kindof. A bit stable. Mostly because her mom told her to come home. ^^ Aside from that, I guess all is well that ends well, eh?

Whew. That was one long post. The backstory took a lot of space... I'm a really bad storyteller. This is more evidednt when I write my short stories - I always always go through a lot of revisions before the final release. Anyways, Ciao for now.
----------------------------------------------"
begin 2 learn dat
1. kisses dnt
always min sumtng
2. PROMiSES cn b
BROKEN jst as
quick as dey r
made
3. sumtyms
gudbyes rili r
forever
4. use iLOVEYOU
wit xtreme
CAUTION, coz f
used n a wrong
way, sum1 wil end
up gettin HURT.
remembr dat it
shudnt b an
everyday word
either SHOULDN'T
b sed jst coz ur
XTPCTD to say it.
nd make sure u
knw nd wen 2
use it
5. 1s ur in love, it's
not dat easy 2 fall
out of love..
Gandang hapon!
" ~ Text Message from Maggie, Sent 04:51:34pm, 01/29/2007
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PS> Maybe I should've posted that as an Ooc:Literature... >_<

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Number of Zeroes in an American Decillion

:: Entry #33 - Sabbatical ::
~Ooc: Headlines
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Mood: Gusto ko nang magpakamatay.
Music: Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off, by: Panic! at the Disco
----------------------------------------------

I just lost my bestfriend. Yup, Grace just texted. She said that I should just forget she existed, and her only reply to my explanation was "Hu u?". Because of this, I'll be taking the next (few) week(s) off. I'll have to contemplate the things I did, the things I said, today.

ToDoList:
  • What happened today (022107) about me & grace's fight.
  • Part 2 of what happened last valentines.
  • What happened last saturday (021807) about the TropangGaius™ Night Booze Session
  • My Magic: the Gathering Deck (WUR BlinkRider)
  • My RFOnline Character update
  • My PirateKingOnline Character
  • ~Ooc: TropangGaius™ (A new segment of my blogs, due to consistent public demand)
Anyways, I won't be around for a week or so, but you'll still see me inside the campus. Please leave me alone for a while. I need to compose myself. -__- I'll try to update my blogs more regularly, and I'll definitely accomplish my ToDoList before this week ends. I hope. Anyways, Ciao for now...

PS> About MarkCovs's money...can someone inform Jeboy that I would consider it a favor if he can pay the 1k directly to mark? Also, tell Mark that i'll cough up the remaining 500 next week... Oh, and thanks.

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"Orange Chicken sa langit." ~Me.
"Orange Chicken sa langit." ~Edwin.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Number Thirty-Two

:: Entry #32 - Happy Valentines! ::
~Ooc: Headlines
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Mood: Happy
Music: Just So You Know, by Jesse McCartney
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Valentine's Day, by: *Rimfrost

This post is made up of several posts about what happened from Feb9 to Feb15. *Sorry, I'll update later... I'm soo darn sleepy, I can't type anymore...*

Feb9, Friday - The Day Before the Big Day

The day being Friday, the weekly Friday Night Magic came to the front gates of Letran (Literally). And, normally, with it came (Almost) every TropangGaius™ peep from hiding. o_o Anyways, I didn't join the fray and instead went around asking the supposed-to-be-sure peeps about the event tommorow. Unfortunately, not even a single one of them's joining the Annual Group Date. So it isn't even a 'group' date now, just a regular one. ~_~ Very Disappointing, most especially to Austin, JM and Jonathan. I though you guys are already sure about your partners. Anyways, I can't back out now, so I decided to tell Grace 'The Truth'. Nothing changed, just the time - We're meeting a bit earlier than I planned. *sigh* All well that ends well, at the very least.

Feb10, Saturday - The Big Day

I woke up early and went to our metting place at about 9:00am. She told me the night before that I have to at Jolibee Binan on or before 10:30am, so I (fortunately) got up early and was soon on my way. I wore a peach polo & jeans. It was a normal getup for me, most epescially when malling. I got at the meeting place a bit early, so I ate a quick breakfast while waiting for Grace. But when she got there, boy, was I surprised. She was wearing a sleeveless shirt under a pink short-sleeve bolero, and a cute pink skirt. O_O Whhoaa. This is the first time I dated her in a cute skirt. Grace was absolutely gorgeous. Sooo unlike her last friendster pic. ^^; Anyways, let's get on with the show...

We got on a bus and I asked where she'd want to go. I didn't realy got the chance to survey the malls since I was hoping my berks would come with us, so I decided I'd give grace the driver's keys and tag along wherever she'd like. My worst case scenario was Mall of Asia, Powerplant Mall and Rockwell. Those three was just far too expensive, but of the three, I can at least afford to date someone at Rockwell. We ended up somewhere a bit nearer, but still one of the best spots for a date: Greenbelt.

The date started with her flaunting her dress at the adjoining Glorieta Mall. She still wore her bolero, so it was good and nice. We went straight to Glorieta's Cinema's and found out that the next showing of 'The Messenger', a canadian horror flick, was 1:40pm. It was 1:00pm, and we haven't eaten lunch yet so after I got a couple of tix, we looked for a nearby restaurant. We found this neat little old-kitchen look restaurant, and ordered a regular seafood pizza. It was peppered with a lot of shrimp, and was very tasty. So far so good, at least. Grace and I was just having fun pointing at other people. Whether they're ugly or beautiful, how she looks compared to other.. that stuff. We enjoyed the lunch immensely.

Next, the Movie. It was nice, a thriller at start, becomes lame near the end. But that's not the highlight. Alex, Grace's "Boyfriend", made a very cute "Wrong Sent" SMS. He just discovered that his consort was tested positive, and she wouldn't get an abortion. Yup, grace's boyfriend just became a father. Grace knew about the consort - it was his boyfriend's way of relieving 'body heat' since Grace is adamant about her "no touch below the belt" policy. And so, his consort got pregnant. Hahahahaha. :D Grace was very upset about this, but we contined the date while discussing her 'small problem'.

TO BE CONTINUED

Thursday, February 08, 2007

The Fourth Lucky Prime

:: Entry #31 - Exhausted ::
~Ooc: Headlines
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Mood: My whole body's aching...
Music: Spoliarium, by Imago
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So, a lot things happened yesterday. Here's a quick rundown - The day before yesterday, I remembered that we're going to have our midterm examinations on Electromagnetics (A hellishly difficult subject with a very...amusing teacher) the next day. So before I went home (7:30pm is the dismissal time of my last class) I loaned Joy's notebook and have it photocopied. I also bought my own notebook where I planned to rewrite the notes. After I returned the notebook to Joy, I went home to study. Guess what?

I fell asleep.

Not only that, I was roused up by a text message from grace saying that she'll come over today. I received the message 7:30am in the morning, and the start of my Electromagnetics Exam was at 7:30am. Sh*tzu. The Chinese breed. ~_~ So, I tried my best to get to school w/o further delay and thankfully got there before exams were finished. My only review is from joy's xerox copies I tried to read during the jeepney ride from my house to school, so I got a very mediocre 85% in the exam. ~_~

But the day ain't over yet. Grace showed up. Along with Edwin. The two ain't getting along since...the incident last last last year. ~_~ So I tried to think of something that would force the two to mingle with each other. I was running out of ideas (And Grace was being a bit of a pain too) until Edwin asked me if I can accompany him to Paseo that night. Paseo, Sta. Rosa. A few kilometers from SM Sta. Rosa, where Grace is supposed to be in about 7:00pm. It's 5:30pm and I tried my best to convince Grace to let Edwin drive us to SM. Good thing Edwin brought his car along.

So, after a quick pit stop at my house (because of Grace's pictures at friendster and a CD I owed her), we were off to SM Sta. Rosa, where we (The three of us) spent a bit of time together. We ate mirienda at a coffee shop & played a bit at Tom's World, before I asked Grace's mom about the TropangGaius™ Annual Feb. Group Date. I recieved a very vague answer. But still, I think we won't have problems about that.

So, I got home sometime after 10:00pm. I was really exhausted, so I went to sleep and woke up to a text message. From grace. It seems that I forgot to give back her library & laboratory cards... ^^; Hehehe Arbor na to. Thanks Grace, and Thanks to Edwin too.

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"Wala na daw syang braces, gaius. Retainer nalang." ~ MarkCovs

Monday, February 05, 2007

The First Sphenic and Giuga Number

:: Entry #30 - Feb 10 ::
~Ooc: Headlines
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Mood: My head is starting to ache again...
Music: Nothing
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There's this annual event of the TropangGaius™ peeps that occurs the weekend before (or, theoretically, after) the Valentine's Day since last year. This Febuary 10, it is slated to occur again: The Second Annual TropangGaius™ Group Date! For those who haven't read my other post, I'm going to bring my cute bestfriend Grace, although Ateh Beth said she'll try to be there as well. The venue is SM Southmall (Paranaque, I think), and when exactly is still in the works. I have to ask austin about the specifics.

Speaking of Austin, I really don't know who the hell he's flirting with right now. Sorry, flirting isn't normally associated with men, but I can't find an english word for "Chumichipsie". Which is'nt exactly tagalog either, but a Slang for making "Cheap" shots. Apply the thought to boys and girls, and you'd find a near accurate definition of the term. Anyway, It's kindof ankward when I'm trying to befriend a girl (Angel) while not knowing if one of my berk's interested with her. I think it's a disaster in the making, so I'm hanging back for a while and wait until Austin makes up his mind whether or not he'll make a move. ^^;

Anyway, that's all for today, Ciao!
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Btw, congrats to Juner, my Guy Bestfriend, for publishing the very first letranite-created blogsite that's blocked by Letran's own firewall. You cannot access his blogsite from anywhere inside the campus because it deemed a "Kids site" and illegal. ^^;

Sunday, February 04, 2007

The Sum of ASDF

:: Entry #29 - We Won ::
~Ooc: Headlines

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Mood: Stable
Music: Girls With The Softest Lips Lash Out The Most Violent Words, by: Valley of Chrome
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So, two of my kaTropas have created their own blogs. Juner (My Guy Bestfriend) and Jonathan (The Resident Psychologist - more psycho than most, btw) have their own repositories of thoughts from now on, both of which are in the Links section of my blog. A friend of mine asked (through friendster) me a while ago why do I bother on keeping this small corner of the internet. "Why do you blog" he asked. You're baring yourself for the whole world to see.

The Reason: I'm unnaturally silent, and I have an adverse aversion to strangers. Very rarely would I willingly talk to people I don't know, be it shop owners, random people or sometimes even my Tropa's other Tropas. Or Tropa's Girlfriends for that matter. Girlfriend (Singular). Yes, It's a sad and cruel world. Anyways, back to topic: The Reason. Long story short: I need an outlet. There's a lot of emotions warring in my head, much more in my heart. I need a place where I can let it all out.

Welcome to I N C A R N U M, the dumpsite of my unfettered emotions. ^^;

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Btw, Belato Praxis won this day's 9:00pm CW. ^^; Yey! Congrats peeps!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Number of Convex Uniform Honeycombs

:: Entry #28 - Alcohol ::
~Ooc: Headlines
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Mood: Groggy
Music: Soap O Pera, by:Itchyworms
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I'm going to do this post shotgun-style since I need to play RF Online ASAP. It's a x3pt & x3DropRate weekend, so bear with me ^^; I'll try post again on monday most likely at my Linux Class.

First weekend after last post: Recollection from saturday morning to sunday morning. The confession and the sharing was particularly enlightening, and I enjoyed the overnight stay, most especially since I was with Joy & our classmates for an extended period of time. That doesn't happen often, and it did call for a few shots from a smuggled half-bottle of White Wine (cleverly hidden in a bottle of C2 ^^; ).

The week afterwards: Its the reckoning of Planar Chaos cards, and I'm not impressed. There are obviously powerful cards, there are a lot of crap (as usual), but I don't like it when wizards screw up the color pie like this. I mean, black wrath is good, green draw is good, red akroma is understandable, but not one, not two, but four playable counterspells across White, Black and Blue? Sh*t. >_<

Last Thursday: Intrams. A/S Soccer team ended the Eng. Department's stranglehold on the Soccer Trophy after 16 years. ^^; Yeah! Anyways, that's the only thing I remember about that...

Yesterday: College Day. (Did I spell that right?) It was a very...normal, albeit more packed, college day. A couple of comedians and a sponge cola concert afterwards, and me my berks (Tropang Gaius™) went to our house to discuss what's what. They ended up spending the night in our family area while discussing which cards to hoard and a torrent of jokes about love-interests and stuff. -___- Anyways, I need to post this now, I only have a few more hours before the x3 Pt wear off...so Ciao for now!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Mage's Dawn

~Ooc:Magic
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I can't go to the prerelease. It's our recollection. ~_~ I really want the cards in my wishlist! T_T Here's a peek!

I WANT FOUR OF THIS!!! ~_~

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More Magic

~Ooc:Magic
----------------------------------------------

And here I am again, fine tuning my M:tG Decklist. I scrapped my Walk the Aeons deck (I'm not sure why I tried that variant), and continued improving on Katsuhiro Mori's decklist. My playtesting is showing solid results - 22 Lands is not enough. So here's my current list:

011507 ~ PickleTron

4x Adarkar Wastes
4x Boreal Shelves (Should've been Hallowed Fountain T_T)
4x Urza's Mine
4x Urza's Powerplant
4x Urza's Tower
2x Urza's Factory (Upped the alternate wincon by 1)
1x Azorius Chancery (No Prahv, It's in the sideboard Jun. Don't Worry. ^^)
1x Vesuva (No Academy Ruins, Since I don't have Trisk)
---
24 Lands

2x Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir
2x Vesuvan Shapeshifter
1x Brine Elemental (The Trisk wincon is now a bit more comple semi-stasis lockdown. It's weaker IMO, but I'll try it still.)
---
5x Creatures

4x Compulsive Research
4x Remand
4x Azorius Signet
3x Dimir Signet (Prismatic Lens DOES NOT work. But I'll try Spectral Searchlight.)
3x Wrath of God (Four is overkill and clutters my first seven.)
2x Faith's Fetters (I want to squeeze one more though...)
2x Think Twice
2x Annex (I saw this on Mori's "2006 The Finals" winning decklist...)
2x Spell Burst
2x Mana Leak (I'm not sure about this slot... Mori has Tidings here...)
1x Careful Consideration
1x Mystical Teachings
1x Repeal (Utility removal)
---
31 Other Spells

The sideboard's situational, but this is my deck right now. I'll try to get some Tidings next time, and squeeze a couple of Faith's fetters (Although I'd like to playtest Temporal Isolation too). Oh and Btw, here's my:

Planar Chaos Wish List!

@White -
4x Dawn Charm (1W;Instant;Common;Choose one - Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn; or, regenerate target creature; or, counter target spell targeting you.) - I love 2cc Counterspells that can save my creatures and myself from lethal damage... ^^; Definitely a 4-of in my deck!
?x Voidstone Gargoyle (3WW;Creature-Gargoyle;Rare;Flying,As Voidstone Gargoyle comes into play, name a nonland card.The named card can't be played.Activated abilities of permanents with that name can't be played.Activated abilities of cards with that name that aren't in play can't be played.;3/3) - Holy Sh*zz, it's Meddling Mage + Pithing Needle! I need at least one of this in my deck!
4x Mana Tithe (W;Instant;Common;Counter target spell unless its controller pays 1) - What's better than a 2cc counterspell? a 1cc Counterspell! A timeshifted Force Spike is still a Force Spike. A powerful card, to be sure.
4x Sunlance (W;Sorcery;Common;Sunlance deals 3 damage to target nonwhite creature.) - Not sure why though... ~_~

@Blue -
?x Body Double (4U;Creature-Shapeshifter;Rare;As Body Double comes into play, you may choose a creature card in a graveyard. If you do, Body Double comes into play as a copy of that card.;0/0) - Again, I'm not sure why, but this card has potential. I'd need four in a deck though...

@Black -
4x Dash Hopes (BB;Instant;Common;When you play Dash Hopes, any player may pay 5 life. If a player does, counter Dash Hopes.Counter target spell.) - It's a lose-lose situation if you're using a Rakdos Deck ^^;
4x Damnation (2BB...Do I really have to write this? It's a freaking Wrath of God!) - Duh.

@Red -
4x Blood Knight (RR;Creature-Human Knight;Uncommon;First strike, protection from white;2/2) - Huge potential. Anything with Pro-White has HUGE potential.

@Green -
I guess I'm giving most of my Green Cards at Jun, so I don't have a wish list for it. ^^; But Magus of the Library (GG;Creature-Human Wizard;Rare;T:Add 1 to your mana pool,T:Draw a card. Play this ability only if you have exactly seven cards in hand.;1/1) is one powerful Control Card... I guess I want a playset of that...

@Multicolor & Lands
None.

I guess that's it! ^^; It's time for my next class, so Ciao!

Perfect Cube

:: Entry # 27 - Not Seeing, Not Knowing ::
~Ooc:Headlines

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Mood: Inspired
Music: AC's humming...
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A few hours have passed since my last post, and here I am at Software Engineering Lab 2 at my Linux2 Class. I have no idea what to write here yet, but unfortunately, I'm a bit inspired today. I hope dad can get my PC fixed by tonight, and I really hope I can advance my character in PH-RFOnline. I got a back-to-back passing grades in Linux2 Prelim Lecture & Laboratory exams, no biggie, but Joy still has a higher grade than me because of her quizzes and a a higher Lecture grade. ^^; I know, It's useless to compare myself to her - she doesn't have a bloody hobby (Except Noel), so I guess she spends her free time studying.

Sooo unlike me.

Anyways, I hope to see my inspiration this afternoon, and I really wish I can get some info on her. I even chanced by the library this morning, just before my Linux class, hoping to catch a glimpse, but she ain't there. Asa pa ko. That aside, It's really damn cold in our classroom. There's only seven of us here, and three ACs on full blast. I'm bloody shivering.

Oh, I almost forgot - I got my date for our annual TorpangGaius™ Group Date! Guess who? No, not the mystery girl, but my lovely bestfriend Grace! I don't want to ask my inspiration on a date (yet), mostly because she might not be who I think she is. What do I mean? Here's a cute little text message I got from Grace (Which I promptly forwarded to Aubrey ^^) -

She used 2 b so swit & evrythng.
Seemed so nice wen we're 2gether..
but sudenlt evrythng changed.
Now, do i miss her?
No..i miss hu i thought she was...

A fair warning from my bestfriend - and I will give it the consideration it deserves. ^^

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Gematria of Tetragammaton

:: Entry #26 - Inspired ::
~Ooc: Headlines
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Mood: Stable
Music: Naghihintay, by:Jacob
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I saw her, and my heart skipped a beat. I saw her smile, and my heart just stopped. I thought I would never feel this way again after 'my first', but I guess she proved me wrong. *sigh* Really, the last time I felt this way was with...well, Grace. Yeah, I loved her more than just my bestfriend for a while, but she really needed someone to fill the void left by her father, so I guess I tried my best. I really loved her, to the point that I'd rather not be her boyfriend because I know I can't make her happy all by myself - she deserves someone more than just me. So I became Grace's bestfriend. But right now, I feel freaking in love to this girl...

Darn it, I don't even know her name.

I saw her last at the library, and she was with her classmates. I don't know her course, but if had to guess, she's from the A/S department. She was wearing a pink jacket, pink bag, pink glasses and pink watch. I guess she likes pink, and yes, she has glasses. ^_^ It looked really cute on her. *sigh* I guess I'll just have to go around asking people again. I hate it when I don't know something.

Anyways, my PC's busted again. The power supply broke down, and I'm using my father's laptop right now. It has a very annoying keyboard and mouse, but I guess It can't be helped... I'm still experiencing this lapse in my behavior since my last post, but I think I'm recovering. At least I submitted my assignments on AI this time. And did I mention that for the first time, I got a passing grade at P.E.? ^_^ Yeah, It was pure luck, but I'm quite happy at that quiz though. I guess that's all, I don't know when I can post here again because of my schedule, but I'll try. Until then, Ciao!

Monday, January 08, 2007

Simple is good.

~Ooc: Literature
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4 Months later - ExBF Edition
by ~LantisGaius

I miss you still
Through all this time
You left me all alone

We used to talk
We used to laugh
But now our friendships fading fast

I miss you
I care
And yes, I'll be here for you.

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This piece is a nod to ~averagejane’s poem... [link] I was suddenly inspired when I saw her work, and this is the outcome. It ain't my best work, but it's still a good piece in my opinion. I really liked her poem, I was somehow touched… Oh, and the title's a shoutout to Ne-Yo's So Sick (ExGF Edition) ^^; Hehehehe
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Be

by ~ClaudiaCassanova

Be gentle.
Be kind.
Be passionate.
Be mine.

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Simple, short, sweet and direct. The basic components of a very nice poem. Kudos to ClaudiaCassanova, for this excellent piece of poetry. =)

The Usual TCP Port for SMTP

:: Entry #25 – What's wrong with me...? ::
~Ooc: Headlines

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Mood: Not so good.
Music: Smile at me, by: Rocksteddy
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I was a bit late this morning at my first class, and was really surprised when I found out right then that we’re having the Laboratory Prelim Exam at Linux2 after 5 minutes. Good thing our professor, Mr. Rivera, was kind enough to let us open the Linux Workstations in order to solve the problems. I got stuck at the part where I need to go down the directories because I forgot the command (It was ‘cd ..’) but aside from that, it was thoroughly easy.

Noon came, and I skipped my SPW class because…well, I don’t really know. I just stayed at Mary’s canteen for a while, and next thing I know, it’s time for my constitution class. Where I got a 73% on my prelim exams. What the fuck’s happening to me? I can’t focus on my studies, I don’t have a stable M:tG deck right now and my mind is full of crap. What the hell was I thinking when I tried out that stupid Walk the Aeons deck? It was as far from competitive as I can think of! A very mediocre pile of cards to be sure. I wonder what’s causing me erratic behavior…

A few hours went by, and my Operating Systems class came by. Here, I fully expect the MP (Machine problem) that Mr. Rivera was supposed to give. Yup, you guessed it; he rescheduled the Laboratory Prelim Exam of my OS Class, throwing my schedule off. You see, I’m supposed to meet with my bestfriend (Grace) at about 1:30pm, but since she got out of the house at about 3:00pm, I’ll just have to meet here after my OS Prelim exam...which I expect to finish quickly, maybe at 4:00pm or so. But unfortunately, Mr. Rivera postponed the exam, and went on with the lecture – meaning, I got out of the classroom sometime after 5:30pm. I didn’t get to chat with Grace for more than a few minutes, and all I did when I was with her is to try apologizing about my stupid schedule… she said she didn’t mind, but still… I’m really pissed about the events that happened. After that, I got home early and here I am now, typing…

*Sigh* I’ll try to post something here again, but I really want to sleep early, so that this day can end. So, I guess this is goodbye and good night...

Sunday, January 07, 2007

A Song and A Poem

~Ooc: Literature
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This two pieces of fine literature really explains my situation right now...All the pain and tears, everything I'm trying to hide - That I'm still struggling with too much emotional baggage. I hate this feeling, and I'm desperately running away from it because it really hurts... Anyways, here's the pieces along with their authors.
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Naghihintay (Link)
By:
Jacob

Kelan bang makikita ng iyong mga mata
Kelan bang maririnig sayo na tayo na

[refrain]
Huwag mo akong sisihin kung ang lungkot ng aking damdamin
Bakit di mo akong subukan suyuin…suyuin

[Chorus]
Naghihintay, kahit parang wala pag-asa
Handa na, maghintay kahit pa may’ron kang iba
Bahala na, naghihintay ako na ika’y makasama
Kahit na, naghihintay
Kahit parang wala na

Bakit ba di mo buksan ang iyong mga mata
Nang ang oras natin ay di na masayang pa

[repeat refrain]
[repeat chorus twice]

Huwag mo akong sisihin
kung biglang sumuko ang damdamin
di mo kasi ako pinapansin

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Suicide and Love doesn't mix
by: ~jazzyspazzy

Lying on the floor
Wishing I had died
Praying for those words
I should know will never come.

You'd been hurt before
But I've been hurt
(and worse)
My heart has healed
And it wants you
Something yours will never do

I see you
and I smile inside
I leave you
and I die inside

The way my heart stops beating
The way my chest starts heaving
The way I cry
"I hate my life"
The way I suddenly realize
The only way to survive
To close my eyes
Pull the trigger
Bring my life to a tragic end.

Gazing at you from above
My eyes fill with tears of love
They spill down upon your face

I wish I could be that tear
The one last time I could touch you
Instead of feeling my heart break

Searching for you at my funeral
Knowing that you won't be there
Seeing you, so far away
I wander over
Stare at you
To finally hear the words
I've always wanted you to say:
"Oh god I love you."
"Oh God I miss you"
Then I suddenly realize
The only way to survive
To turn away and say good bye
Is to think of how I had to die
For you to say you loved me.
©2007 ~jazzyspazzy

A Self-Dual Convex Regular 4-Polytope

:: Entry #24 - Wait ::
~Ooc: Headlines
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Mood: Sad
Music: Naghihintay by:Jacob
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A lot of nothing happened since my last post. At school, we just waited (in vain) for our professors to show up, or when they showed up, discuss among ourselves why on earth are we doing nothing. ~_~ On the Magic side of life, more nothing. Miki no longer has debts on me, though I still owe boogie a Thelonite Hermit. Btw, If you noticed above, I'm dropping the ~Ic stuff. Yup, this blog is now solely mine. I really cannot find the time to create the story, less likely the characters for it.

I'm not myself tonight. Maybe because I woke up just this 2:00 in the afternoon, or maybe it's because of the very nostalgic background music (Naghihintay, by:Jacob), but as you can see, my writing sounds off. Maybe I should have picked another day to rewrite the header of Incarnum... Maybe I shouldn't have posted here tonight. I still haven't fully recovered from my headache last time.

Anyway, my bestfriend (Grace) texted me last night about being her audience helper or something at this local tv gameshow called 'Deal or No Deal'. I hate gameshows, and from what my mom told me about this show, we might just end up fighting in the end, so I declined. I'll be there, yes, but only as a normal audience. *_* What else...my guy bestfriend (Juner) wanted me to post something here about TropangGaius™ (Just look at my CBox), but I'm not in the mood right now. I'll just have to quote Roy on this one: 'Remand! Maybe next time..' Sorry Jun.

Hmm... I guess that's it. I'll try to post something else later, but don't count on it... ~_~ Ciao.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

End Transmission Block in ASCII

:: Entry #23 - Sleep ::
~Ooc: Headlines

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Mood: My head aches...
Music: chOOSe mE or Die, by:Tommy febuary6
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My head hurts. My forehead's throbbing like it's gonna burst. Just above my right eyelash. T_T Darn it. Anyways, here's a quick rundown of what's happened. I'm downloading .Hack//Roots for my little bro (He's playing the PS2 Game version of the anime), and I've purchased crappy (but full length) DVDs of R.O.D. and Basilisk, both anime's of high caliber. I just wish I can watch them sometime...

Another thing:
Yup, I'm currently playing as SaffiEriksdotter in Ph-RFOnline; a Bellato Crossclass Mystic-turned-Vigilante. I just job changed last night, and my Holy Pt's driving me nuts... 3 more to go until Expert Skills are open though... And 23 more before Elite skills open up... -__- darn it... I need sleep. Did I mention how my head hurts? It's like hell. Only more gory and stuff. Maybe it's because I spent the whole night playing RFOnline. Or maybe the alcohol I drank is finally taking its toll.

I got permission to go to "The Reunion" with my best friend, Grace. I didn't expect to see 12 gals from my high school and only me, Sam and Zoren as the lone guys. But half of them are enough eyecandy, so I decided to come along...Until I felt horribly sick. I felt damn cold since we got to the venue (Monte Vista Resort) at 7:00pm or so, and all went downhill from there. I got a bit agitated since my best started teasing me to make me go to the swimming pools (Kung I-huhug kita, swimming ka? Kung I-kikiss kita, swimming ka?). It was vexingly annoying. A few hours more, and I was left alone with Zoren and Apple, who also didn't want to swim. Only my best knew that I'm sick, but she discovered when it's 3:00am in the morning, when I started drinking beer to get some heat in my blood. I also ate a very big midnight snack at Max's, just to stave off the incoming fever. I don't want my grace's barkada going all worried over me, so I just drank a beer at a corner.

Until Zoren found out. He and Sam pushed me to buy a Gran Matador brandy from the resort (costs a whopping 160.oophp, good thing there were three of us). We expected some of the gals to take part in the drinks, but unfortunately, they'd rather immerse themselves in the hot pool. So, that left me, Sam and Zoren and a bottle-full of brandy. Oh, Apple and Amor was there too, but they only provided idle company. The discussions was nice, and the alcohol flowed like water in the slides. Fortunately, I was still myself when morning dawned. I think Sheryl is mad at me because I started the the drinking at her reunion, but that aside, it was refreshing.

Any event with me and my best friend there, and it never fails to be refreshing for me. ^^; I wish she were here though... My head is really throbbing....

Umm..what else... Christmas and New Year passed with me being really happy. I don't know why, but grace just have that effect on me. I just love being near her, chatting nonsense. Ummm... what else... I finished Robert Jordan's Knife of Dreams, the Eleventh Book of The Wheel of Time. Classes just resumed today, and our 2nd meeting in Electromagnetics ended with my head reeling like a top. I can't keep my vision steady after 3 long hours of Vector Analysis and Dot Product and Cross Products and Cramer's Rules...

My head hurts. I have a lot to do. I want to play RF. I wish can watch R.O.D and Basilisk. But enough whining. I'm happy. Believe it or not, behind this accursed headache, I really am happy.
^^; Hehehehe

Ciao, for now!